It's been a year that you left us on earth without saying a word. Tears keep running down while Im writting this post.
I cant believe it. Why? Because I wasnt there when you were going to your last home.
Day by day I try not to think of you. But I will never forget that rainy day, The day when God decided to take you away. God must have thought you were so special to take you away. When I heard the news of my brother's sudden death, I didn't fell to my knees. No. I only sat down. I tried to think how could that happen to you because my sister was on the phone with one of my family in Jakarta and didnt answer my question. You were still 32 years old. My brain didnt work. When she told me everything, I was like in a maze, in a dream. Nothing was real to me it seemed until I heard my mom crying. I was so devastated I nearly lost my breath. I cried for the next 6hours. Who would have thought that the last day I saw you was the day that you hugged me tight and told me to drive me to the Airport? You didnt show up at the Airport. I forgave you. So many things I never got chances to say. I was keeping it until we met in Jakarta. I never did tell you all the things I felt, like how much I really did love you, like how much You really meant to me. You did so much for me, yet I didnt do much for you. You taught me everything, between right or wrong, to be an optimistic person in this life, but you never really taught me how to let go someone we loved the most. You'd come in my house, you told us jokes, you told us your days, mom and I would laugh. Mom would tease you, you would laugh. You'd come to my room before you went home. You'd cover up me in a blanket. You'd call me in the middle of night when you knew I was still awake. You'd make me smile.You were the best. I never imagined you'd be so far away from me. You were my brother, I loved you like no other.

I miss hearing your voice calling my name.
I miss being taught by you.
I miss your saying.
I know someday will come and We will be together.
I hope you forgive me for all the thing I didnt do to make you happy.
I hope you forgive me for all the annoying things that I did to you.
You will forever be in our lives,
You will forever be a brother, a son, an uncle, a father and friend. I will always be missing you till the end of my time.
I could never love you less.
Death hits like lightning, it's fierce.
Death taught me how not to take life for granted and how to show others how much I care.
Some people try to avoid it.
Some people become silent.
Some even walk out.
But just as sure as we are born, we will surely die.
I miss you so much.